I think it is part of our condition that we are wired to experience sadness, and sometimes the sadness feels pretty deep and penetrating.  I believe that it is important and healthy for us to cry when we need a good cry. 

I also believe life is a journey of learning to manage my own states.  I learned that I am responsible for the emotional outcomes I create.  I know what can lead to the happiness, excitement, and aliveness I most enjoy feeling.  To start, I can turn inward and ask myself what I need right now, or what I most wish to hear, or what would make me feel better. 

The trick is to then commit to the practices that lead to those states I’d like to feel in an ongoing way, despite looking silly or risking getting rejected (which is one of our biggest fears because we fear being left alone).  One such practice is getting lots of hugs.  I know it sounds silly but most of us are touch deprived, and when you get enough hugs, you feel better. 

Another is getting enough sleep, and another is drinking enough water, for how can our brain operate well if it is dehydrated (and we are 80% water)?  Alongside this is learning to eat foods that serve me, and saying no to those that don’t. 

Another is decluttering and giving charity–let other’s use what you’re no longer using. 

And yet another is being honest & not hiding–this sometimes means sharing your true feelings, your secrets, the things you’re afraid of, and the big dreams you’re afraid you’ll fail to attain.  Following this comes working to attain those big dreams (all you have to do is visualize the outcome and take baby steps daily). 

Another is helping friends, because life isn’t only about you & you’re here to help others too.

And another is hearing that you’re okay from others and hearing that you’re loved, cherished, valued, and appreciated–and when these moments come, letting the love you’re feeling sink in and penetrate–even when it feels a little outside of your comfort zone.  By the way, if you’re not receiving this affirmation, allow yourself to figure out how you most like to receive it (through word, touch, gift, or compansionship)–and then asking for what you want in the form you want–the worst that can happen is that someone says “no” & you’re no worse for the wear, as you didn’t have what you wanted before you asked anyway!

Another is learning to affirm myself through mirror work.  Another is learning to meditate & tap into something bigger.

Another is learning from others & expanding self-awareness.  Another is praising, admiring, and appreciating that which you want to attain–I am always amazed at how those who’ve attained it will offer guidance.

Another practice is exercising or moving the body; dancing can be a fun way to do this.  Another is laughing at the ridiculousness of so much of my seriousness–or finding other things to laugh at.

I’m sure there are more practices that lead to happiness that I’ve not yet discovered, but I know if I turn inward for guidance, the guidance will lead me to greater discoveries.

Hope this blog helps at least one person.

Much love,

Pam Garcy, PhD

BUT– You have to be really honest with yourself and realize these things about suicide—and promise yourself not to ever even try to commit suicide (because you could mess up and be successful by mistake):

Bad feelings and bad times pass & lead into good times. Life has its ups and downs, to be sure, but there are ups that make it really wonderful. Can you go look at some pictures of yourself happy?  Or think of a good time you had & didn’t even expect to have? 

Underlying your pain, you may really want to be alive.  Can you think of a time that you were relieved that you narrowly escaped a car accident or cancer or something else & you felt joyous to be alive?

Talk to friends, family, a therapist, and even a crisis hotline. Here is the number for a crisis hotline to call if you want to remain anonymous: 800-SUICIDE & to prevent cutting 1-800-dontcut.

Work to learn how to self-soothe.  Maybe it will be by taking a hot shower, swimming, swinging, playing with your pet, taking a walk, reading a book, listening to music, singing a song, or playing catch.  Remember catch?

I’ve heard this idea & it is really true:  Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY PROBLEM. A better idea is to write out what your problems are—your problems are what is really part of what is causing the pain. Then take a few minutes to breathe slowly.  Ask your inner guidance to give you some ideas for solutions & write out some ideas for solutions on the other page. This will help you deal with the real problems, instead of running away from them through suicide or self-harming through cutting.

Often, suicidal people do not realize that they are not alone.  But, really, you are probably not as alone as you believe yourself to be at this moment.  There are others who love you deeply & you may not fully understand how much you mean to people because they don’t express it to you in a way you can hear it/see it/feel it/know it. But it is really there & I hope you will believe me when I tell you that more may be waiting for your in the future.

Think about others.  Do you have any folks who are younger than you & who look up to you?  Any folks who copy you?  You may be their leader. If you were to kill yourself, you would increase the risk that they would do the same behavior. So, you need to remember that your actions have consequences for others. 

Also, there are some folks who would be devastated by your actions.  Think of them.

You CAN learn to have happiness in your life. You may have to work on it if it doesn’t come naturally, but it can be learned. I teach it to my patients all the time.  It takes some work & then one day, they’re thanking me for teaching them how to tune into their own healing & how to allow for joy.  They learn to laugh, to love, to work at a job that satisfies them, to taste good food, and to share themselves (instead of hiding).  They learn to be brave.  They learn that courage is a much more satisfying alternative than they’d imagined.  They learn appreciation, humor, and sensitivity toward music, nature, children, animals.  They learn that they have a HEART and they learn that it can be opened & connected to LIFE.

In teaching others, I have become more appreciative of the many times when I experience true happiness, which is something I never knew I could learn to enjoy when I was younger. You can also experience this. You have a lot to look forward to.

Your inner guidance is telling you this:  If you put your mind to something, you will achieve it. You are blessed with many gifts & even if you don’t believe in your gifts, others have probably been confirming your gifts to you at various points in your life.  Can you tune into those memories?  Ask your inner guidance to reveal those memories to you.  Others have also told you that you are good at certain things.  Your inner guidance has also tugged at you to take note of your abilities–it has made you sit up and notice your own surprise at yourself at times.

Create the opposite of suicidal–create joy.  One way to feel the opposite is to take what Marsha Linehan calls opposite action. Act as though you’re happy & sometimes you will feel happier. You can do this by acting goofy, silly, playful, creative, funny, etc.

Another way to feel the opposite of suicidal is to commit to a really big goal & work on it all the time. For me, it was making my book a #1 national bestseller & I started from nowhere. I’d never written a book. That goal came from a dream that was given to me at a point earlier than I can remember.  I just know that the dream was always there.  What dreams do you have?  Why not devote your life to living them out?  They are there for you & living them out will inspire you!

Your inner guidance, if you turn to it, will help you to see that you have an actual obligation to stay alive (except in extreme conditions), and that each life is the world. If you change one life, it is like changing the world. You can change a life for the better by being around.  Think about that. If you believe that you can help even one person, then please own this obligation.

When I say such things to my kids, they say I’m annoying. I don’t mean to annoy you, only to point out that universal energy works in mysterious ways. I think that there are reasons you are here, even if we don’t know them. You are given strengths that you may need to develop in order to truly use them well. Perhaps you are given weaknesses that are present specifically so that you can develop your strengths. I hope you will work to figure out what strengths you need to develop to help yourself now. 

Stay alive!

With love,

Dr. Pam Garcy

BUT– You have to be really honest with yourself and realize these things about suicide—and promise yourself not to ever even try to commit suicide (because you could mess up and be successful by mistake):

Bad feelings and bad times pass & lead into good times. Life has its ups and downs, to be sure, but there are ups that make it really wonderful. Can you go look at some pictures of yourself happy?  Or think of a good time you had & didn’t even expect to have? 

Underlying your pain, you may really want to be alive.  Can you think of a time that you were relieved that you narrowly escaped a car accident or cancer or something else & you felt joyous to be alive?

Talk to friends, family, a therapist, and even a crisis hotline. Here is the number for a crisis hotline to call if you want to remain anonymous: 800-SUICIDE & to prevent cutting 1-800-dontcut.

Work to learn how to self-soothe.  Maybe it will be by taking a hot shower, swimming, swinging, playing with your pet, taking a walk, reading a book, listening to music, singing a song, or playing catch.  Remember catch?

I’ve heard this idea & it is really true:  Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY PROBLEM. A better idea is to write out what your problems are—your problems are what is really part of what is causing the pain. Then take a few minutes to breathe slowly.  Ask your inner guidance to give you some ideas for solutions & write out some ideas for solutions on the other page. This will help you deal with the real problems, instead of running away from them through suicide or self-harming through cutting.

Often, suicidal people do not realize that they are not alone.  But, really, you are probably not as alone as you believe yourself to be at this moment.  There are others who love you deeply & you may not fully understand how much you mean to people because they don’t express it to you in a way you can hear it/see it/feel it/know it. But it is really there & I hope you will believe me when I tell you that more may be waiting for your in the future.

Think about others.  Do you have any folks who are younger than you & who look up to you?  Any folks who copy you?  You may be their leader. If you were to kill yourself, you would increase the risk that they would do the same behavior. So, you need to remember that your actions have consequences for others. 

Also, there are some folks who would be devastated by your actions.  Think of them.

You CAN learn to have happiness in your life. You may have to work on it if it doesn’t come naturally, but it can be learned. I teach it to my patients all the time.  It takes some work & then one day, they’re thanking me for teaching them how to tune into their own healing & how to allow for joy.  They learn to laugh, to love, to work at a job that satisfies them, to taste good food, and to share themselves (instead of hiding).  They learn to be brave.  They learn that courage is a much more satisfying alternative than they’d imagined.  They learn appreciation, humor, and sensitivity toward music, nature, children, animals.  They learn that they have a HEART and they learn that it can be opened & connected to LIFE.

In teaching others, I have become more appreciative of the many times when I experience true happiness, which is something I never knew I could learn to enjoy when I was younger. You can also experience this. You have a lot to look forward to.

Your inner guidance is telling you this:  If you put your mind to something, you will achieve it. You are blessed with many gifts & even if you don’t believe in your gifts, others have probably been confirming your gifts to you at various points in your life.  Can you tune into those memories?  Ask your inner guidance to reveal those memories to you.  Others have also told you that you are good at certain things.  Your inner guidance has also tugged at you to take note of your abilities–it has made you sit up and notice your own surprise at yourself at times.

Create the opposite of suicidal–create joy.  One way to feel the opposite is to take what Marsha Linehan calls opposite action. Act as though you’re happy & sometimes you will feel happier. You can do this by acting goofy, silly, playful, creative, funny, etc.

Another way to feel the opposite of suicidal is to commit to a really big goal & work on it all the time. For me, it was making my book a #1 national bestseller & I started from nowhere. I’d never written a book. That goal came from a dream that was given to me at a point earlier than I can remember.  I just know that the dream was always there.  What dreams do you have?  Why not devote your life to living them out?  They are there for you & living them out will inspire you!

Your inner guidance, if you turn to it, will help you to see that you have an actual obligation to stay alive (except in extreme conditions), and that each life is the world. If you change one life, it is like changing the world. You can change a life for the better by being around.  Think about that. If you believe that you can help even one person, then please own this obligation.

When I say such things to my kids, they say I’m annoying. I don’t mean to annoy you, only to point out that universal energy works in mysterious ways. I think that there are reasons you are here, even if we don’t know them. You are given strengths that you may need to develop in order to truly use them well. Perhaps you are given weaknesses that are present specifically so that you can develop your strengths. I hope you will work to figure out what strengths you need to develop to help yourself now. 

Stay alive!

With love,

Dr. Pam Garcy

It is actually kind of challenging to find a lot written about this distinction–it took me a while to see the differences myself & I got different answers from different clinicians while trying to figure it out. Some people don’t even make a distinction between the two, because they’re so similarly oriented.

Here’s what I’ve learned to date.

Downward arrow is a CT technique. The questions are asked following an inference that the client has revealed (usually in the form of an automatic thought). The questions are asked repeatedly and an arrow is drawn from one conclusion to the conclusion beneath it, over & over again (so you see a lot of downward arrows). In class, I gave 2 examples of Downward Arrow Technique questions that Aaron Beck uses, but there are many questions you could ask. Beck’s are, “What would it mean to you?” (which would generally reveal an intermediate belief — usually an assumption or rule) and the other is, “What would it mean about you?” (which could sometimes reveal a core belief if you repeat the question a couple of times).

You can also use the downward arrow technique to help with anxiety by revealing the patient’s catastrophizing. Other questions are used in this case, but the arrow is drawn below each idea, connecting it to the next one below it. So, if the patient says, “What if this will happen?” You could say, “What if it did? What is the worst thing that could happen? In the event that the worst would happen, what would you do? And then what would happen? And then what?” You’d ask until you got the patient PAST the catastrophic ideas & into the probability that he/she would cope. You could use further questions (such as what is the best that could happen? to show that it isn’t absolute that only the worst thing would happen.)

Inference chaining is a similar technique used in REBT. You could ask the more generic, “Say your inference were true. What would it mean if ___ were true?” You could get any variety of responses, ranging from a repetition of the initial inference to derivatives of musturbation (awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, or depreciation) to a demand. You would continue to ask the same generic question, using the next level of inference to fill in the blank. You then chain the inference to the next inference & continue to ask the question until you get to an inference that you think is worthy of disputation. You can dispute at any of the levels–all will usually lead to some relief.

You can also show the client how their primary inference at the top of the chain is ultimately chained to the conclusions at the bottom of the inference chain, hence showing the person how he/she creates emotional disturbance. Both of these techniques are much easier to demonstrate than to write about! I’m happy to demonstrate it in class. In both techniques, you want to lend a lot of support to the client because they are threatening for the client to endure (ego wise). I guess an analogy would be like doing surgery–if you’re removing a splinter, it hurts a little, but when you cut deeply to remove a shard of glass, it hurts a lot. So, use the strategies we discussed in class to lend support to the client as you use these technique–it is best to lend support at each point in the questioning. For example, to lend support you could say, “I know this is difficult to consider. Please understand that I’m not necessarily agreeing with your idea, however, for the sake of discussion, what would it mean if (the inference) were true?”

I am open to hearing more on this topic, so please add to the discussion.

Dr. Garcy

It is actually kind of challenging to find a lot written about this distinction–it took me a while to see the differences myself & I got different answers from different clinicians while trying to figure it out. Some people don’t even make a distinction between the two, because they’re so similarly oriented.

Here’s what I’ve learned to date.

Downward arrow is a CT technique. The questions are asked following an inference that the client has revealed (usually in the form of an automatic thought). The questions are asked repeatedly and an arrow is drawn from one conclusion to the conclusion beneath it, over & over again (so you see a lot of downward arrows). In class, I gave 2 examples of Downward Arrow Technique questions that Aaron Beck uses, but there are many questions you could ask. Beck’s are, “What would it mean to you?” (which would generally reveal an intermediate belief — usually an assumption or rule) and the other is, “What would it mean about you?” (which could sometimes reveal a core belief if you repeat the question a couple of times).

You can also use the downward arrow technique to help with anxiety by revealing the patient’s catastrophizing. Other questions are used in this case, but the arrow is drawn below each idea, connecting it to the next one below it. So, if the patient says, “What if this will happen?” You could say, “What if it did? What is the worst thing that could happen? In the event that the worst would happen, what would you do? And then what would happen? And then what?” You’d ask until you got the patient PAST the catastrophic ideas & into the probability that he/she would cope. You could use further questions (such as what is the best that could happen? to show that it isn’t absolute that only the worst thing would happen.)

Inference chaining is a similar technique used in REBT. You could ask the more generic, “Say your inference were true. What would it mean if ___ were true?” You could get any variety of responses, ranging from a repetition of the initial inference to derivatives of musturbation (awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, or depreciation) to a demand. You would continue to ask the same generic question, using the next level of inference to fill in the blank. You then chain the inference to the next inference & continue to ask the question until you get to an inference that you think is worthy of disputation. You can dispute at any of the levels–all will usually lead to some relief.

You can also show the client how their primary inference at the top of the chain is ultimately chained to the conclusions at the bottom of the inference chain, hence showing the person how he/she creates emotional disturbance. Both of these techniques are much easier to demonstrate than to write about! I’m happy to demonstrate it in class. In both techniques, you want to lend a lot of support to the client because they are threatening for the client to endure (ego wise). I guess an analogy would be like doing surgery–if you’re removing a splinter, it hurts a little, but when you cut deeply to remove a shard of glass, it hurts a lot. So, use the strategies we discussed in class to lend support to the client as you use these technique–it is best to lend support at each point in the questioning. For example, to lend support you could say, “I know this is difficult to consider. Please understand that I’m not necessarily agreeing with your idea, however, for the sake of discussion, what would it mean if (the inference) were true?”

I am open to hearing more on this topic, so please add to the discussion.

Dr. Garcy

It is actually kind of challenging to find a lot written about this distinction–it took me a while to see the differences myself & I got different answers from different clinicians while trying to figure it out. Some people don’t even make a distinction between the two, because they’re so similarly oriented.

Here’s what I’ve learned to date.

Downward arrow is a CT technique. The questions are asked following an inference that the client has revealed (usually in the form of an automatic thought). The questions are asked repeatedly and an arrow is drawn from one conclusion to the conclusion beneath it, over & over again (so you see a lot of downward arrows). In class, I gave 2 examples of Downward Arrow Technique questions that Aaron Beck uses, but there are many questions you could ask. Beck’s are, “What would it mean to you?” (which would generally reveal an intermediate belief — usually an assumption or rule) and the other is, “What would it mean about you?” (which could sometimes reveal a core belief if you repeat the question a couple of times).

You can also use the downward arrow technique to help with anxiety by revealing the patient’s catastrophizing. Other questions are used in this case, but the arrow is drawn below each idea, connecting it to the next one below it. So, if the patient says, “What if this will happen?” You could say, “What if it did? What is the worst thing that could happen? In the event that the worst would happen, what would you do? And then what would happen? And then what?” You’d ask until you got the patient PAST the catastrophic ideas & into the probability that he/she would cope. You could use further questions (such as what is the best that could happen? to show that it isn’t absolute that only the worst thing would happen.)

Inference chaining is a similar technique used in REBT. You could ask the more generic, “Say your inference were true. What would it mean if ___ were true?” You could get any variety of responses, ranging from a repetition of the initial inference to derivatives of musturbation (awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, or depreciation) to a demand. You would continue to ask the same generic question, using the next level of inference to fill in the blank. You then chain the inference to the next inference & continue to ask the question until you get to an inference that you think is worthy of disputation. You can dispute at any of the levels–all will usually lead to some relief.

You can also show the client how their primary inference at the top of the chain is ultimately chained to the conclusions at the bottom of the inference chain, hence showing the person how he/she creates emotional disturbance. Both of these techniques are much easier to demonstrate than to write about! I’m happy to demonstrate it in class. In both techniques, you want to lend a lot of support to the client because they are threatening for the client to endure (ego wise). I guess an analogy would be like doing surgery–if you’re removing a splinter, it hurts a little, but when you cut deeply to remove a shard of glass, it hurts a lot. So, use the strategies we discussed in class to lend support to the client as you use these technique–it is best to lend support at each point in the questioning. For example, to lend support you could say, “I know this is difficult to consider. Please understand that I’m not necessarily agreeing with your idea, however, for the sake of discussion, what would it mean if (the inference) were true?”

I am open to hearing more on this topic, so please add to the discussion.

Dr. Garcy

It is actually kind of challenging to find a lot written about this distinction–it took me a while to see the differences myself & I got different answers from different clinicians while trying to figure it out. Some people don’t even make a distinction between the two, because they’re so similarly oriented.

Here’s what I’ve learned to date.

Downward arrow is a CT technique. The questions are asked following an inference that the client has revealed (usually in the form of an automatic thought). The questions are asked repeatedly and an arrow is drawn from one conclusion to the conclusion beneath it, over & over again (so you see a lot of downward arrows). In class, I gave 2 examples of Downward Arrow Technique questions that Aaron Beck uses, but there are many questions you could ask. Beck’s are, “What would it mean to you?” (which would generally reveal an intermediate belief — usually an assumption or rule) and the other is, “What would it mean about you?” (which could sometimes reveal a core belief if you repeat the question a couple of times).

You can also use the downward arrow technique to help with anxiety by revealing the patient’s catastrophizing. Other questions are used in this case, but the arrow is drawn below each idea, connecting it to the next one below it. So, if the patient says, “What if this will happen?” You could say, “What if it did? What is the worst thing that could happen? In the event that the worst would happen, what would you do? And then what would happen? And then what?” You’d ask until you got the patient PAST the catastrophic ideas & into the probability that he/she would cope. You could use further questions (such as what is the best that could happen? to show that it isn’t absolute that only the worst thing would happen.)

Inference chaining is a similar technique used in REBT. You could ask the more generic, “Say your inference were true. What would it mean if ___ were true?” You could get any variety of responses, ranging from a repetition of the initial inference to derivatives of musturbation (awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, or depreciation) to a demand. You would continue to ask the same generic question, using the next level of inference to fill in the blank. You then chain the inference to the next inference & continue to ask the question until you get to an inference that you think is worthy of disputation. You can dispute at any of the levels–all will usually lead to some relief.

You can also show the client how their primary inference at the top of the chain is ultimately chained to the conclusions at the bottom of the inference chain, hence showing the person how he/she creates emotional disturbance. Both of these techniques are much easier to demonstrate than to write about! I’m happy to demonstrate it in class. In both techniques, you want to lend a lot of support to the client because they are threatening for the client to endure (ego wise). I guess an analogy would be like doing surgery–if you’re removing a splinter, it hurts a little, but when you cut deeply to remove a shard of glass, it hurts a lot. So, use the strategies we discussed in class to lend support to the client as you use these technique–it is best to lend support at each point in the questioning. For example, to lend support you could say, “I know this is difficult to consider. Please understand that I’m not necessarily agreeing with your idea, however, for the sake of discussion, what would it mean if (the inference) were true?”

I am open to hearing more on this topic, so please add to the discussion.

Dr. Garcy

It is actually kind of challenging to find a lot written about this distinction–it took me a while to see the differences myself & I got different answers from different clinicians while trying to figure it out. Some people don’t even make a distinction between the two, because they’re so similarly oriented.

Here’s what I’ve learned to date.

Downward arrow is a CT technique. The questions are asked following an inference that the client has revealed (usually in the form of an automatic thought). The questions are asked repeatedly and an arrow is drawn from one conclusion to the conclusion beneath it, over & over again (so you see a lot of downward arrows). In class, I gave 2 examples of Downward Arrow Technique questions that Aaron Beck uses, but there are many questions you could ask. Beck’s are, “What would it mean to you?” (which would generally reveal an intermediate belief — usually an assumption or rule) and the other is, “What would it mean about you?” (which could sometimes reveal a core belief if you repeat the question a couple of times).

You can also use the downward arrow technique to help with anxiety by revealing the patient’s catastrophizing. Other questions are used in this case, but the arrow is drawn below each idea, connecting it to the next one below it. So, if the patient says, “What if this will happen?” You could say, “What if it did? What is the worst thing that could happen? In the event that the worst would happen, what would you do? And then what would happen? And then what?” You’d ask until you got the patient PAST the catastrophic ideas & into the probability that he/she would cope. You could use further questions (such as what is the best that could happen? to show that it isn’t absolute that only the worst thing would happen.)

Inference chaining is a similar technique used in REBT. You could ask the more generic, “Say your inference were true. What would it mean if ___ were true?” You could get any variety of responses, ranging from a repetition of the initial inference to derivatives of musturbation (awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, or depreciation) to a demand. You would continue to ask the same generic question, using the next level of inference to fill in the blank. You then chain the inference to the next inference & continue to ask the question until you get to an inference that you think is worthy of disputation. You can dispute at any of the levels–all will usually lead to some relief.

You can also show the client how their primary inference at the top of the chain is ultimately chained to the conclusions at the bottom of the inference chain, hence showing the person how he/she creates emotional disturbance. Both of these techniques are much easier to demonstrate than to write about! I’m happy to demonstrate it in class. In both techniques, you want to lend a lot of support to the client because they are threatening for the client to endure (ego wise). I guess an analogy would be like doing surgery–if you’re removing a splinter, it hurts a little, but when you cut deeply to remove a shard of glass, it hurts a lot. So, use the strategies we discussed in class to lend support to the client as you use these technique–it is best to lend support at each point in the questioning. For example, to lend support you could say, “I know this is difficult to consider. Please understand that I’m not necessarily agreeing with your idea, however, for the sake of discussion, what would it mean if (the inference) were true?”

I am open to hearing more on this topic, so please add to the discussion.

Dr. Garcy

It is actually kind of challenging to find a lot written about this distinction–it took me a while to see the differences myself & I got different answers from different clinicians while trying to figure it out. Some people don’t even make a distinction between the two, because they’re so similarly oriented.

Here’s what I’ve learned to date.

Downward arrow is a CT technique. The questions are asked following an inference that the client has revealed (usually in the form of an automatic thought). The questions are asked repeatedly and an arrow is drawn from one conclusion to the conclusion beneath it, over & over again (so you see a lot of downward arrows). In class, I gave 2 examples of Downward Arrow Technique questions that Aaron Beck uses, but there are many questions you could ask. Beck’s are, “What would it mean to you?” (which would generally reveal an intermediate belief — usually an assumption or rule) and the other is, “What would it mean about you?” (which could sometimes reveal a core belief if you repeat the question a couple of times).

You can also use the downward arrow technique to help with anxiety by revealing the patient’s catastrophizing. Other questions are used in this case, but the arrow is drawn below each idea, connecting it to the next one below it. So, if the patient says, “What if this will happen?” You could say, “What if it did? What is the worst thing that could happen? In the event that the worst would happen, what would you do? And then what would happen? And then what?” You’d ask until you got the patient PAST the catastrophic ideas & into the probability that he/she would cope. You could use further questions (such as what is the best that could happen? to show that it isn’t absolute that only the worst thing would happen.)

Inference chaining is a similar technique used in REBT. You could ask the more generic, “Say your inference were true. What would it mean if ___ were true?” You could get any variety of responses, ranging from a repetition of the initial inference to derivatives of musturbation (awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, or depreciation) to a demand. You would continue to ask the same generic question, using the next level of inference to fill in the blank. You then chain the inference to the next inference & continue to ask the question until you get to an inference that you think is worthy of disputation. You can dispute at any of the levels–all will usually lead to some relief.

You can also show the client how their primary inference at the top of the chain is ultimately chained to the conclusions at the bottom of the inference chain, hence showing the person how he/she creates emotional disturbance. Both of these techniques are much easier to demonstrate than to write about! I’m happy to demonstrate it in class. In both techniques, you want to lend a lot of support to the client because they are threatening for the client to endure (ego wise). I guess an analogy would be like doing surgery–if you’re removing a splinter, it hurts a little, but when you cut deeply to remove a shard of glass, it hurts a lot. So, use the strategies we discussed in class to lend support to the client as you use these technique–it is best to lend support at each point in the questioning. For example, to lend support you could say, “I know this is difficult to consider. Please understand that I’m not necessarily agreeing with your idea, however, for the sake of discussion, what would it mean if (the inference) were true?”

I am open to hearing more on this topic, so please add to the discussion.

Dr. Garcy

Unfortunately, many folks turn outward without the focused intention of being positively influenced.  These folks are then vulnerable to negative influences. 

For this reason, it is especially important to have a place to turn for this positivity.  One source is The Positive Newscast.  I would really recommend this to you because the focus is on the positive–when we feel positively, we are strengthened to look at things more rationally & we have an easier time accessing our inner wisdom. 

If you would like to be inspired, I would invite you to listen to this interview which I submitted to Positive Newscast, whose motto is “only the good news”: 

http://positivenewscast.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive-newscast-1-overcoming.html

If you enjoy it, you can follow it up by accessing the other benefits of this newscast.

Be well & get inspired!

Pamela Garcy, PhD

PS–If you would like to work with me, please contact me.  Please note that there is often a wait of 1-2 weeks to schedule your initial visit, so please plan accordingly.