There are times when self-criticism and self-doubt get in the way of us accessing our inner guidance.  It is at these times that it becomes helpful to turn outward toward positive influences.  Inspiration can remind us that we are just as capable of creating good in the world.

Unfortunately, many folks turn outward without the focused intention of being positively influenced.  These folks are then vulnerable to negative influences. 

For this reason, it is especially important to have a place to turn for this positivity.  One source is The Positive Newscast.  I would really recommend this to you because the focus is on the positive–when we feel positively, we are strengthened to look at things more rationally & we have an easier time accessing our inner wisdom. 

If you would like to be inspired, I would invite you to listen to this interview which I submitted to Positive Newscast, whose motto is “only the good news”: 

http://positivenewscast.blogspot.com/2010/07/positive-newscast-1-overcoming.html

If you enjoy it, you can follow it up by accessing the other benefits of this newscast.

Be well & get inspired!

Pamela Garcy, PhD

PS–If you would like to work with me, please contact me.  Please note that there is often a wait of 1-2 weeks to schedule your initial visit, so please plan accordingly.

 

I just set up a new listing on a therapy site called Therapy Next (http://therapynext.com/Therapist-Profile.aspx?pid=665).  I surprised myself as I typed that I was selective about who I treat & that I keep my practice small–this is a new approach for me on my listings, as I usually don’t share that truth…until I realized that it is a way to be a role model for following one’s inner guidance. 

Over the years, I have learned that what is good for me is also good for my clients.  If I can only handle 15 patients a week, it is good for me and my clients to admit that to myself.  If I want to keep my practice small so that I can devote myself to my patients & really offer them an awesome therapy experience, this is good for me and for my clients.

So, if you ever doubt whether following your inner guidance is good for you, remember that if it is good for you & it is good for others, it is probably a great path.

Pam

Please check out this new listing & tell me what you think:   http://therapynext.com/Therapist-Profile.aspx?pid=665

 

I run a free group in the community once a month.  It isn’t a therapy group, but rather a group in which I give psychology away to people for free.  Why?  Because I want for people to be able to free themselves up to be able to trust and listen to their inner guidance.  In psychology terms, I want to help people to be freer from psychopathology & more self-directed.  So, I give it away freely & with gusto!  I know that if more people will address their emotional well-being, the world will be a happier and safer place for all of us &  for our children.

Anyway, at our last group, I reviewed cognitive errors, which is chapter 17 in my book The REBT Super-Activity Guide.  The question came up over and over–“How can I correct these errors?  I see what I’m doing–how can I fix it?”

So, today we’re having a follow-up to the last group, where the question came up.  I’m going to answer the question for the participants.  In case you can’t join us,  I wanted to share the content with you.

These suggestions are based on some of what I use when I work with clients using REBT and CBT methods, by the way.

When you are feeling unhealthy negative emotions, you are feeling them for a reason. The reason is usually linked back to your thoughts. Use your unhealthy negative feelings as a signal that it is time to look at what you are telling yourself—what is the story that you tell yourself? What do you allow yourself to believe about the situation?

As you start the process of correcting your thinking error, remind yourself that thinking errors are normal to make & are encompassed under normal human error. As human beings, we are designed to make mistakes. So, just because YOU make a thinking error, it doesn’t make YOU wrong, bad, inadequate, crazy or a loser.

Why do we make these mistakes in thinking—why are we designed to do so? We do so because we are trying to simplify. We simplify to increase efficiency. The goal of efficiency is to improve our own (1) self-protection and (2) self-enhancement. However, it is when we realize that our thinking errors (1) decrease our self-protection and (2) are usually self-defeating that we begin to allow ourselves to correct these errors.

Start by identifying the thinking error & then look at the table to find ways to correct it. It takes diligent work to break a habit, but it can be broken. Here is a table that will help you with specific corrections for specific errors:

Corrections for thinking errors follow:

Overgeneralization Look for exceptions to your rule

Black and White Thinking Look for the shades of gray

Labeling Define the label. Find instances in which the person doesn’t meet the criterion for the definition.

Magnification/Minimization If exaggerating, try on the understatement. If understating, try on the exaggeration. Then, look at this with relative thinking.

Jumping to conclusions Slow down and get more data for your conclusion—ask yourself if you have all the information Fortune telling Do several prediction experiments and see how accurate you are. If you are not 100% accurate, recognize that you don’t have a crystal ball.

Mind reading Ask questions to determine whether your assumption about others is right or wrong. Work to find the actual reasons for the person’s behavior.

Making “should” statements Change the demand into a preference OR explain the opposite “should”. Remember that just because someone could doesn’t mean they must.

Blaming Look for other contributing factors. Draw a responsibility pie chart to determine how much blame could realistically be assigned to one factor.

Ignoring information Open your eyes to remaining information: what is the rest of the story? If you are focusing on the negative, spend 5 to 10 minutes discussing the positives that you are ignoring.

I feel therefore it is so or emotional reasoning Look at the evidence for and against your conclusion. Recognize that your feelings may be related to other causes (for example, something happened earlier, HALT, person reminds you of someone, etc.).

Awfulizing or Catastrophizing Finish the sentence, “At least _____” (For example, at least he still has a job or at least we are still talking) OR the sentence, “It could be worse. It could be that ______.” List lots of examples of how it could be worse. Ask yourself what good could come of this?

Low Frustration Tolerance or “I-can’t-stand-it-itis” or “I want what I want when I want it” Remind yourself that you are already “standing it” or you wouldn’t be alive! Then work to develop even higher frustration tolerance and patience. Challenge yourself to tolerate whatever it is that is going on but not focus exclusively on it. When you are not working on reducing the thing that is blocking you from your goal, work on finding things you can enjoy outside of the frustrating event. For example, you can work to accomplish another goal or to find pleasure in another life area.

I am my feelings/I am my problems Recognize other feelings that you have had in the past that are different from the one you have now. Then remember that just because you feel a certain way, it doesn’t make YOU into your feeling. Recognize other problems that you’ve solved in the past. Then remember that just because you are facing a life problem, it doesn’t mean that YOU are the life problem.

Here are some additional techniques you can try with any of the thinking errors (these are more techniques I use with my clients): Examining the evidence for & against your idea, experimenting to test your idea, looking at whether the idea is helping you or not, finding other explanations besides your conclusion, asking yourself how you’d talk to a friend in the same circumstance, asking other people how they’d see it, rephrasing what you say to be more kind/confident/etc.

Please note that sometimes people are stuck in an ingrained vicious cycle of thought & benefit from help, which is one aspect of the work I do as an REBT/CBT therapist. Sometimes friends, family, and unskilled therapists will inadvertently reinforce thinking errors , so it is important to be careful when selecting a partner in emotional healing.

Once you correct the thinking error, you release the block.  Once you release the block, you can feel relaxed, joyous, peaceful, and harmonious, which I believe are the states which lead to an openness to your inner guidance.

To your success,

Pamela D. Garcy, Ph.D.

Dallas Clinical Psychologist & Coach

My new book is available on amazon & is called The REBT Super-Activity Guide

Author of the #1 National Bestseller The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On

Co-author of the bestseller Wake Up Moments of Inspiration

Bountiful Benefits of Coaching by Pam Garcy, Ph.D.

You might be wondering whether coaching is right for you. As a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, I do two primary types of work with people. Some of the people I see are coming to me for emotional healing. This is type of work is deep and helps people who are going through emotional turmoil. I enjoy this work very much and it is an honor to be a part of people’s healing. The other type of work that I do is coaching. This type of work is also very powerful for people’s lives.

The people who come to me for coaching are usually those who have a specific goal or set of goals that they are trying to reach. The work that is done in coaching involves helping you to get very clear on your goals, helping you to leverage these goals so that your motivation to reach them will remain stable, helping you to generate your own path for reaching your goals, and helping you to take continuous action toward your goal—even when you feel like giving up on yourself.

Often people abandon the bigger goals that they set for themselves due to fear, discouragement, lack of ability to sustain motivation, lack of organization, lack of life balance, or lack of support. Coaching can help with all of these factors.

Here are some indications that you might benefit from coaching:

You have a goal you want to reach

You have not been successful in reaching the goal

You would like a partner in reaching this goal—not just any partner, but someone who has a skill set to help you to define your own path & reach your goal with greater efficiency

Here are some potential benefits to getting coaching:

Helps you get excited and motivated toward your goals

Generates improvements in your performance toward reaching your goals & targets

Helps you identify blocks to reaching your goals

Helps you to stop procrastinating in taking action

Helps enhance self-confidence Gives you an accountability partner

Gives you support and encouragement Helps you to make small corrections in behavior that lead to big changes

Feel free to contact me if I can answer any questions about this for you or someone you love.

To your success!

–Dr. Pam