Did you know that there is a price to be paid when we block our inner guidance? Do you understand how this even develops & why it is that people continue to squelch their inner truth?
When we experience something emotionally painful AND when we then block ourselves from coping directly with our experience, symptoms tend to develop. What kind of symptoms? They can be just about anything. Some are turned outward such as moodiness, abuse, or agressive communication. Others are turned inward such as substance use, self-harming behaviors or compulsive behaviors. There are many other types of symptoms as well.
These symptoms are known in behavioral terms as “avoidance responses”–the pathological responses that develop as a result of the relief we feel when we avoid coping with something unpleasant. The relief is negatively reinforcing–it reinforces us by removing an unpleasant feeling that arises in our awareness.*
Unfortunately, as we continue to avoid our reality, we are also avoiding the opportunity to grow through effective coping. We essentially stunt our own growth & stay stuck. When we are really being honest with ourselves, we can hear the still small voice within saying, “There is a problem. Please deal with it.” Avoidance responses stifle the inner guidance. They are louder, somehow, and we can “hide out” in them. But, if we want to be healthy and grow, it is time to move past this.
Germophobia is sometimes an instance of this–not always, but sometimes. I want to share an article about this topic. I am quoted at the end of the article. Here is the link for it. Hope it is helpful–and remember to take time to hear your inner guide. Often, this is the part of you that is wise and is there to help you to make the healthier choices that you’d need to move past your pain. If you’re having trouble tuning into your inner guidance, I’d recommend you read my book, the #1 National Bestseller, The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune in and Turn On.
Anyway, here is the link to the article on msnbc.com: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29166897/page/2/
Have a glorious day–and remember that Life Is Incredible!
Pam Garcy, PhD
Have you signed up for the April 4th workshop in Plano? Go to http://www.lifeisincredible.com
*People tend to confuse negative reinforcement with punishment–but the two are entirely different. Reinforcement, by definition, INCREASES a behavior. Negative reinforcement is any reinforcement that results by REMOVING an unpleasant stimulus. Punishment, on the other hand, is designed to stop a behavior by introducing an aversive consequence or removing a pleasureable consequence–very different. You can usually tell if someone knows what they’re talking about in this area by whether they confuse these terms.
Dear Friends & Universe,
I’m calling for your help. I want to get the word out that we can cope through these tough times & tell people how to start doing so. I’m sad when I hear about lives going to waste due to the panic of the times. It isn’t right, but I know it is beyond my control. However, there is something in my control to do–to try and get my message out there more & to ask you for help. We can pull together now and use what we know to help each other through the tough times.
Here’s what I’m asking for–help me get onto The View, Oprah, Dr. Phil or any of the national shows–if you know anyone who knows anyone who might be open to what I’m doing. This would help me to get the message of healing out there. I’m not out to profit on my book sales. I will share my profits with charity–I mean that seriously–I’ll just deduct my travel/hotel & the rest of my profits go straight to charity. I want to help people. That’s all I’m saying. But I need your help because I’m just starting on this different road.
I spent tons of money with a PR person who was wonderful & got me started on the road. She believes in my mission to help people to tune into their inner guidance & to make wise decisions about the messages they are getting. But, she hasn’t gotten me onto a national show. So, as her time draws to an end, I think about the others out there who might feel the pull to help–that is your inner guidance talking & I’m asking you to listen to it for the sake of anyone who hasn’t heard my message but needs to hear it.
Let’s get the world to think in a healthier fashion together. Six Degrees of Separation supposedly separate us from the people who we need to be in touch with in order to serve. I want to serve and I need your help to do it.
Anyway, if you’re in a position to help, here are the clips from the interview in Houston (3 minutes), Good Morning Texas (5 minutes), and Dallas Morning News.
Live tv interview from last week in Houston:
Good Morning Texas Video from yesterday:
Dallas Morning News Article from yesterday:
I figure I’ve used up about 8 minutes of my 15 minutes of lifetime fame. So, if any of you know anyone who knows anyone who knows Oprah’s director of production or like someone from The View, feel free to pass my clip along!
Sign up for my free e-zine Insourcing at:
I wanted to re-invite you to a F*ree Teleseminar that I’m hosting called Cycling Wellness into Your Success! (Secret: There’s going to be a special offer that we make tonight for those who want to attend Life Is Incredible–so definitely make it!)
I will interview our friend Ellen Valentine, Nutritionist and Life-Coach.
Time permitting, we plan to cover:
==> Why Physical Wellness is Crucial for Your Success
==> How People can Use Nutrition for Increased Energy and Stamina
==> Quick and easy things you can start to do to improve your health
==> Signs your body is giving you that you’d better take steps
==> Crucial things you must know about supplements and wasting money
==> How fear and other negative emotions can be impacted by wellness
Save the date & time:
Tuesday 2/17/09, 6pm PST/7pm MST/8pm CST/9pm EST
Pam’s Conference Line: 1-712-421-7981
Participant Passcode: 6458#
Please SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO ME by replying to this e-mail. Please print this out now while you’re thinking about it, tape it near your phone & write the event in your calendar!
Speak with you on Tuesday night, 2/17/09!
Pam Garcy, PhD and Ellen Valentine, ND
Remember: Life Is Incredible!
Sign up at http://www.lifeisincredible.com
PS–We aren’t charging for the teleseminar; depending upon your phone plan, your phone company may charge you a long distance charge.
Part of being able to tune in and turn onto your inner guidance involves learning how to think rationally. This is one of the many reasons I love to teach people about REBT and CBT.
There are so many examples of behavioral habits that can be fed by irrational thinking, that it just makes sense to educate yourself about how to think more rationally.
I was very pleased to be interviewed by SELF magazine about the topic of germophobia. The article is in the current edition of Self magazine. I’m quoted at the very end of it–let me know what you think–go here to read it:
Especially if you’re stuck in a bad habit, it is important to find the way back to your heart. Figure out what is going on–what might be causing you to engage in this repetitive, destructive behavior? I sometimes see people who are depressed–they’re unfulfilled in their current life–and they don’t know what to do to get out of it. Sometimes I see people who are suffering from anxiety. Many don’t know how to speak up for themselves, how to set limits, how to create a calmer lifestyle or even just how to say no. These little problems lead to bigger problems when you don’t take care of them.
If you can take the time to learn to relax and calm yourself, then you can also take the time to tune in and ask yourself the questions that might lead to YOUR answers. Sometimes these answers might be to get specialized help or to get more information–especially if you’re finding yourself in a hole and you don’t know how to get out of it.
This is precisely why I practice psychotherapy & work to help people who are depressed, anxious, angry or otherwise unfulfilled in life. It is why I wrote The Power of Inner Guidance. It is why I keep plugging away at getting the message out there–be true to yourself–if you don’t know how, learn.
In the spirit of warmth & support of YOU following your inner guidance to create an incredible life,
As you know, I have a preoccupation with folks becoming self-aware and self-directed. I deeply hope to encourage you to tune into yourself and to honor your inner wisdom, which I sometimes refer to as inner guidance. I believe that this is key to creating the incredible life (check out http://www.lifeisincredible.com ).
One of the practices that will help you to follow your inner wisdom is the practice of mindfulness. I came across an article by Padraig O’Mrain of the Irish Times. Not that I’m looking at the Irish Times every day, but I generally try to keep abreast of any articles on REBT & his came up.
Padraig graciously agreed that I could share his mindfulness tips with you, which I found to be so simply put and user friendly that I was thrilled to pass them along.
Please enjoy these tips about mindfulness.
(You can also check out Padraig’s article in the Irish Times & his blog.
The Happy Knack of Knowing Where You’re At by PADRAIG O’MORAIN
Mindfulness involves taking your attention away from the past and future and away from your imagination - and instead becoming aware of what is going on right now. You can do this as you go about your daily life. Notice with your senses: what you are seeing and hearing, that you are breathing, standing, walking or sitting or lying down, the feel of the air against your skin as you move along.
Your mind will keep drifting out of the present so you need to keep bringing it back. It is bringing your mind back to the present that makes up the practice of mindfulness. Never criticise your mind for drifting away: just bring it back kindly and gently.
Mindfulness has been used for thousands of years in the Buddhist tradition to improve people’s experience of life. It lowers anxiety and stress, provides an antidote to brooding (which can lead to, or maintain, depression). It also helps you to avoid endlessly repeating distressing or unhelpful thoughts, images and mental scenes. Exercises like those below have been used for centuries to help people practice mindfulness as they go about their daily life. The first two need only take a minute or so but will help you if you repeat them a few times a day.
From time to time, notice your breathing.
Notice your posture.
Notice the points of contact between your body and the chair, floor, ground.
Notice your clothes touching your body.
Notice sounds in the room; sounds outside the room; the furthest away sound you can hear.
Every time you drift into thinking, just return to noticing these sensations.
This involves using habitual behaviours to remind you to practice mindfulness. Choose one or two and then decide that when performing them you will maintain awareness of what you are doing, rather than daydreaming or getting caught up in fears or anxieties: Using the telephone ~ Going up or down stairs or steps ~ Using a computer mouse or keyboard ~ Tidying ~ Washing up ~ Showering.
Awareness of Breathing
As you go through your day, notice your breathing from time to time. All you need to do is notice your breathing: you don’t have to breathe in any special way. You could notice one or more of the following: Is your breathing different now to what it was a few minutes ago? Is it calmer or more laboured? Are you breathing with your chest or your tummy (abdominal breathing is usually more relaxing)? As you breathe, can you feel movement in your diaphragm (between your ribs and your abdomen)? Can you feel the air entering and leaving your nostrils?
Let me know what else you guys would like to learn more about. Feel free to submit your inner guidance questions or questions about creating an incredible life!
Have you signed up for Life Is Incredible yet? Time to take action! Go to http://www.lifeisincredible.com now!
Just wanted to share a couple of things that I’m celebrating.
I am extremely honored because Drs. Bill Knaus, Jon Carlson, and Elliot Cohen have invited me to serve as an honorary member of the Editorial Board for the Albert Ellis Tribute Book Series. I’m very excited because the book series will honor the memory of Albert Ellis and highlight his contributions to the field.
I just came across Argosy University of Dallas’s Newsletter. Thank you to the newsletter for all of the support offered in this lovely article: http://auconnection.net/Dallas/newsletters/20081006.pdf
Finally, I had a talk with Kathleen Green at the Dallas Morning News today & she is rightly concerned about how the economic recession is affecting folks emotionally. She plans to write an article about it & we discussed the importance of take time out to relax & ask ourselves the important questions of life. I think that people take for granted how important it can be to take a few minutes out to relax, but it can really have a rejuvinating effect on both the body & mind. Hopefully, Kathleen will get to tell people about The Power of Inner Guidance, and allow it touch more lives. I also asked her to consider mentioning the role of training, including the Life Is Incredible training event that Ellen & I are doing in Plano (see http://www.lifeisincredible.com ).
Anyway, I plan to interview Dr. Knaus for this blog sometime soon regarding how we overcome procrastination. If we receive inner guidance & then ignore it & fail to act upon our good decisions, we will end up disempowering ourselves. Action leads to confidence and power. So, I am excited to share what I learn with you in one of my upcoming blogs.
Remember to take some time to tune in, gain clarity and take action on one of your important goals today!
Check out http://www.lifeisincredible.com
When I was sitting on the airplane, prior to my bestseller campaign, I started thinking about how I would feel when my book became a #1 National Bestseller. Of course, I didn’t know for sure whether I would reach that goal. But, I knew how I’d feel if I did. I started thinking about the words I’d used to describe that state of success, pleasure, achievement and gratifcation–the words I’d use when I called to tell people how it felt to realize a lifelong dream. What came to me was the phrase, “Life Is Incredible!”
I decided at that point that I was definitely going to give a seminar outside of Dallas, in Plano, to teach people how to create what they wanted. I put this out there right away on my best-seller campaign & I announced it to my mastermind group–I invited my mastermind sisters to join me–it was something we’d talked about in the past–creating a seminar together. See, part of realizing big goals is announcing your intentions; so, this is what I was doing & it was consistent with things we’d discussed in our mastermind.
Guess what happened? Well, to make a long story shorter, my dear mastermind sister, Ellen Valentine, agreed to partner with me on this event. She has led many seminars, so I knew I was in for a great learning experience & was so excited to get the chance to work with her.
Since that time, Ellen and I have taken this idea & we’ve discussed it every week. Every week, the idea has grown and become more real. It has begun to take on life. We started to dedicate time for pre-seminar trainings once a month. We’ve developed a bit of a following, and it has been joyous to share what we know with others!
Once again, Ellen and I met this morning to work on the Life Is Incredible seminar. I’m really getting excited about it as we plan more of the details of this great event! My inner guidance keeps showing me your beautiful faces, gathered together in learning.
Today, Ellen said something so obvious that it was profound. She said, “Pam, there are probably 800 people out there who want to come to our 80 person workshop.”
Before she could finish her thought, I finished it for her (being that my excitement sometimes overrides my impulse control). “I know,” I said, “but they just don’t know about it!”
“Exactly,” she said, “we need to reach out to them so they’ll know about it.”
We realized that, being that the workshop is only a couple of months away, it was time to really reach out to all of you & ask you to help us to spread the word. Do you know someone who wants to pause, take some time to turn inward, to step back and look at the life that they are creating, to make sure they are on track and to regroup? Do you know someone who might appreciate a chance to connect with others who are going through the same process–others who are in a place of readiness for growth and expansion–who simply need the supportive & nurturing training environment to help them to take that next step?
If you do, please send them to us–we are creating a seminar designed just for them–you can find out more at http://www.lifeisincredible.com
We really want to connect with you and your friends. But, beyond that, we want to help to give you the tools to create the life of your dreams!
Please feel free to share any thoughts about how we can reach out to others & find more people who want this great experience–an experience that will help them to create the INCREDIBLE life using inner guidance & strategies which support it.
Thanks again for reading!
Pam Garcy, PhD Clinical Psychologist http://www.lifeisincredible.com