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After divorce, trust is often diminished–not just trust of others, but trust of oneself.
- To increase self-trust, start by getting in touch with your inner consciousness. To do this, take time to turn inward, ask yourself questions, and wait for the answers. Keep a journal of the answers you receive and honor what you learn.
- To increase trust in others, decide what a person will need to do to be defined as “trustworthy” in your opinion. What are your rules?
- In addition, take time to really get to know the other person and their values. Ask them hypothetical questions, and listen to how they would solve issues that are important to you.
Hope this helps my friends who are recovering from divorce.
Warmly,
Pam Garcy, PhD
Author of Dallas Morning News Local Best-seller The Power of Inner Guidance: 7 Steps to Tune In and Turn On
Want to sign up for a great free newsletter, specifically designed to help you to stay true to yourself? Go to http://www.myinsourcing.com now!
http://www.myinnerguide.com
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Recently, I was watching a DVD of Hale Dwoskin, author of The Sedona Method. As I was listening to him speak about “letting go” of feelings rather than attaching ourselves to them, a thought ran through my mind. “What would I be left with if I let go of my feelings?”
Funny thought, but this was the truth of my experience at that moment. And, in fact, the accompanying feeling was fear.
At that moment, I took a breath and turned inward for the answer, asking the same question that had just run through my mind.
This is when the answer of “being” came to me. I would “be” in life.
Remember, you are not your feelings. You are the one who experiences your feelings. So, if you were to let go of these, what is left is your essence, simply in the act of being.
We get so attached to our feelings that we think that we ARE our feelings. It is even in our language, when we say, “I am sad,” rather than, “I feel sad.” We think that our feelings represent the entirety of who we are.
Because of this attachment, we may be afraid to “let go” of our suffering, because, probably at some other-than-conscious level, we may fear that letting go of our suffering will lead to non-existence.
But, actually, you’d still be here if you let go of your suffering. In fact, you’d be able to more fully and exuberantly experience the here-and-now, wouldn’t you?
Hale also explained that once this “letting go” occurs, we are left with a feeling that resembles the lightness of a laugh.
Perhaps this is why a baby’s laugh has always been so grounding, filling and joyous for me. It is the purity and a joy that I adore–it is the reflection and reminder of our essence!
Pam Garcy, PhD
P.S. If you’d like to learn more about a baby’s laughter, please check out this article in Parent’s Magazine (also available on Parents.com). I was honored to be interviewed on the topic by author Paige Weiser:
Happy Baby! How Smiles Develop: About 12 Months: A Sense of Humor
“Surprise is a big element in making babies laugh at 12 months,” says Dr. Garcy. “Put your baby on your knees, sing a song, and then gently let her drop a …
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A reader, who we’ll just call “H”, of Insourcing Inner Guidance Secrets sent the following e-mail and question:
Hello! Dr Pam Garcy,
You are the first person that has responded to my request (referring to Insourcing). I have tried many places including a website dealing with these things and astrology, it is purely a money earning site…(details removed)
I am in a sort of condition that does not let me progress further you may call it stuck in my own understanding; I recognize This because I am thinking about the same things compare them with all
the things observed in nature and my interactions in daily life. the thinking always ends up without any concrete solution of reaching the ultimate reality, leaving me with a feeling that there is
more, as all the answers are not solved. meaning that the absolute truth is still beyond my understanding and experience. I even tried to satisfy myself that this is it, this is all the facts but something does not click to make me satisfied spirituality as per my understanding till now, is more beyond the mind and feelings as defined by
us, not the natural creation of the omnipotent. This is because we may be able to perceive the manifested but what about the un manifested? I have experience oneness with the entirety and had the
experience of observing the entire manifested universe with out interaction JUST OBSERVING, but when going beyond this there is difficulty. One of the thing that guide us is the reading of enlightened
persons, these are not explained in the books in clear details, thus the element of anticipating some thing is not there to guide the consciousness, I even tried thinking that there is really
nothing beyond this manifested universe, but it does not work as it defies the logic of duality, and the strong statements given in the books, I have not met anyone till now that can satisfy my urge to
experience the un manifested. And yes logic will still utilize the faculty of mind! all these experiences beyond mind have given me extreme peace and understanding but not the desire of understanding and experiencing the entirety. So guide me in this quest! Please tell me if there is any method known to you with respect to this
expansion of consciousness beyond duality; don’t be discouraged if you don’t know. we all are in the same state, thus it is O.K.
Below is my answer to this dear reader, and I welcome your ideas and participation in answering this question.
The conclusion that I have reached at this moment in time and space is:
- The acceptance of what is allows us to experience as much as we are capable of experiencing.
- We may not know all that we are capable of experiencing, due to messages that we have been given in the past about our capabilities and limitations. These messages create a filter for our experience, leading us to expand or contract our awareness, partly due to our expectations.
- I would venture to hypothesize that expanding consciousness often requires that we first give up the demand that we must expand consciousness. In demanding, we create a state of distress and struggle, negating the possibilility of the expansion we desire.
- In fact, I would postulate that if we commit to living fully and in a state of acceptance, the expansion of our consciousness would then become most available to us.
- So, my first suggestion would be to learn to live fully in the present and to experience the vastness of what is already available to you. Attend to that which “is” and welcome it.
- The realm of inner guidance taps both into the conscious and subconscious experience. So, acceptance is the first step outlined in my book, The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On, which guides you in tapping into your inner guidance. The inner guidance within you, I believe, is a form of connectedness that allows immediate expansion of consciousness.
- My book goes into greater detail about the additional steps which follow this which will help you in this process. I believe that asking specific types of questions will also move you beyond the observation phase.
Pam Garcy, PhD
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Hope to see you tomorrow at the Plano Book Festival from 12-6 at Haggard Park. Here is some information about it, if you’re interested in meeting some local authors, including me: http://www.planobookfestival.com/featured_authors.htm
I’ve not done it before, so we’ll see how it goes!
Pam Garcy, PhD
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Hope to see you tomorrow at the Plano Book Festival from 12-6 at Haggard Park. Here is some information about it, if you’re interested in meeting some local authors, including me: http://www.planobookfestival.com/featured_authors.htm
I’ve not done it before, so we’ll see how it goes!
Pam Garcy, PhD
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The relationship with the self lays the foundation for all other relationships. If it is out of harmony, it can impair your other relationships.
Here are some questions which might be used as a self-awareness inventory. “No” answers to any of these questions might help someone to identify areas that they might work to improve in themselves.
1. Do you work on accepting and loving yourself for who you are? I mean truly accepting yourself.
2. Do you spend time tuning into yourself? This could include meditation, mindfulness, journaling and guided self-questioning. It can also include the process discussed in my book.
3. Do you honor your inclinations, following your curiousity and paying attention to that which attracts you?
4. Do you take time to visualize what you want for yourself?
5. Do you have an interest which absorbs you, and which you make time to pursue?
6. Do you regularly take time to be grateful for that which you have?
7. Do you take care of your physical, financial, social, mental, emotional, and spiritual realities?
8. Do you give yourself time to relax and recuperate?
9. Do you think of ways to create the outcomes that you want?
10. Do you read literature of a positive nature, attend workshops, or connect with in a spiritual fashion?
Improve your relationship with yourself and your relationships with others will naturally become more balanced and harmonious!
–Pam Garcy, PhD
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Ever hear of Neale Donald Walsch? Well, I’m going up right before him on a radio interview which is sure to talk all about inner guidance! I’d love it if you’d tune in!
Here is the link to the invitation and the information:
Guests can listen live between 3-4pm PST at
http://www.modavox.com/WTRStudioA/HostModaviewForWTR2.aspx?HostId=
289&ChannelId=14&Flag=1
Date of interview:
Thursday, april 3, 2008
3:00-3:20 pm PST/6:00-6:20pm EST
Thank you!
Pam
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If you want to hear me interviewed by Nan Russell on her show Work Matters, go here now:
http://www.webtalkradio.net/content/view/58/30/
We talked about a variety of topics related to a healthy relationship with your workplace and setting boundaries at work.
 Interview of Dr. Pam on Work Matters with Nan Russell: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download
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Update
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
Hi! Just wanted to update you guys that The Power of Inner Guidance reached local best-seller on Dallas Morning News again! Thanks for your support!
http://www.guidelive.com/sharedcontent/dws/ent/books/stories/DN-bk_bestsellers_0323gui.State.Bulldog.45fe127.html
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Today, I opened an e-mail from one of my students. She was congratulating me on the progress of The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On. The only way I could see to respond was by borrowing a line from the Beatles: I get by with a little help from my friends! I am really very happy and grateful that so many friends and supporters have appeared to help me to get the word out about the book.
Some of you have told your friends about the book, and some have bought multiple copies to hand out to others. As so many of you have shown me that you are on my team and share my mission of helping others to lead lives of greater fulfillment, I want to update you on the good news so far!
So far, the book has sold over 500 copies! I am so grateful that the book is getting into the hands of people who are reading it and benefitting! It is a thrill for me that the book made it into the Dallas Morning News as a #2 on the Local Bestseller list! The book was also stocked in a local Barnes and Nobles bookstore, out of which it has sold over 200 copies.
If YOU want to help this book to keep going & helping others, I invite and welcome your support! I believe that I’ve shared some of the key ingredients to long-term fulfillment in life in this little book. MY HOPE is to reach all those who could benefit.
So, I’ll share a secret with you. I secretly expect that people who share the joy of creating more fulfillment for others will continue to appear to help me to move this book into the hands of those who want it! This secret expectation has driven me to stretch out of my own comfort zone, making speeches, running workshops and getting onto the radio to teach what I know. So, universe, hear this: I am joyously reaching out, inviting, welcoming and thanking a great team of people who want to help me make this book a national bestseller!
Here are some ways to help this book to reach more people:
1. Write a review of the book on bn.com and amazon.com. You don’t have to write anything lengthy–in fact, simply writing a few sentences is perfect!
2. E-mail everyone in your address book and tell them to buy the book off of bn.com on May 1, 2008. If you are planning on helping me in this way, let me know because I’m going to be offering special bonuses to all folks who buy the book on this day. It will be great from them & they will thank you because they’re going to get access to bonus items that will outweigh the cost of the book.
3. Connect me with others who might be willing to help.
Here’s an event in which you help can make a world of difference. Just think, it might be your efforts that help to change someone’s life. And if you change just one life for the better, it is like changing an entire world.
Thank you again for your help and support!
Pam Garcy, PhD
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