Yes, I know.  I am aware that my title sounds so silly…I actually thought of it as I was typing & it must be a bumper sticker from my past!  But, it never hurts to have a sense of humor–anger is so SERIOUS & it can harm you/others.

Here is a question that recently caught my attention:

alot of times, i can not control my mind. when i see something or feel someone did me wrong, i keep thinking ways of trashing that certain someone…..i have so much anger….i keep thinking bad things to make that person suffer…the situations are so miminal but i turned it into a big issue….

The question you ask is important–I think that first of all you’re doing great identifying that you’re angry, which is the first step–to know what you feel & that you don’t like to feel it.

The next step is to understand it more.  Usually anger is associated with beliefs such as “someone else should have acted differently than they did”; when you are considering acting upon your anger to harm someone, you might be thinking “people who don’t act the way I want them to must be punished.”

When you stop and look at the beliefs that are leading to your anger, you might realize that they are not serving you over the long run.  You might see that there isn’t really any proof that others must act as you want them to.  You might begin to recognize that while it is normal to want people to act how we want them to act, it isn’t usually necessary for them to do things exactly as you wish!  In addition, you can be okay even when others inconvenience you, insult you, or act badly.

So, take some slow, deep breaths & then write down what you’re thinking that is causing you to feel angry.  Then look at what you wrote and decide whether there might be a more helpful, less anger-causing way of viewing the situation.

You can also take some time to shift your mind through positive activity.  For example, watch a comedy, go on a brisk walk, sing a song, or distract yourself for a while.  Sometimes as time passes and you get involved in your life, you will see that your unhealthy beliefs seem less true.

Good luck with your work on this.