I read a post on Craig’s list and tried to respond to it.  Unfortunately, it was “too new” to reply to.  So, I wil post my reply here in the hopes that those who need it will receive it somehow.

The question was:  I was recently diagnosied with Borderline Personality Disorder and don’t know what to do.  It seems so hopeless.  Advice?

My reply:  I’m a therapist who sometimes works with people who have this condition.  It is good to have an accurate diagnosis so the person treating you can help you properly.  I know it isn’t fun being diagnosed–it seems reductionistic at some level–but if the diagnosis is used to help you, it is usually for the best to know it & learn more about it.

Here are a few things to consider learning more about that relate to this diagnosis. I’m not saying all are right for you, just that I’ve found these common themes are really really helpful for people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

1.  Learn about appropriate communication.  How can you communicate in a way that is respectful of yourself and the other person?  Where’s the middle ground?
2.  Learn about the typical fears of people with this disorder, such as the fear of abandonment.  Learn how to tolerate being alone & ambiguity.  Learn to give yourself the certainty that no one else can give you.
3.  Learn self-love and self-reliance.  Do something loving for yourself EVERY DAY!
4.  Learn what sets you off and what helps soothe you–learn healthy ways of responding to emotional pain.
5.  Learn how to make good decisions and to follow through on your decisions by creating a plan and taking baby steps.  Reinforce yourself daily for your baby steps.
6.  Learn to set limits with yourself and others.
7.  Learn about all or nothing thinking and how to think in shades of gray.  The middle ground is an important thing to master. 
These are a few of the things that could bring you great relief.  In addition, if you learn to turn inward and tune into your inner guidance, you may find the answers to reduce your depression, anxiety and relationship problems.  When you are in a positive mood, begin to ask yourself, “How can I love myself more?”  Ask, “Show me how I can be more respectful of others.”  Turn toward your inner guidance when your emotional state is healthy, and write down your answers.  Keep a journal to learn from your own answers.  Study what you learn and process these answers with your therapist.

Best of luck in your soul-searching.  If anything above resonates with you, you should share the ideas with your therapist.

Sending you white light,
Dr. Pam Garcy

http://www.myinnerguide.com”>http://www.myinnerguide.com>