Recently, I was asked how I help people to decide whether or not to return to an old flame.  Of course, I believe that your answers are often within you already.  If you become still and quiet, you can learn to experience these answers using the methods described in my book, The Power of Inner Guidance: Seven Steps to Tune In and Turn On.

If you are someone who turns in regularly, you will learn about yourself and you will learn to receive the answers within.  Sometimes, these are the answers of healing, the answers which tell you to take time out for yourself and feel your feelings.  Other times, these are the answers of reaching and growth, answers which direct you to search and to move into the beyond. 

So, I would like to encourage you to take that time to find your own answer. 

When your heart is unresolved about a relationship of the past, you can also ask some additional questions.  First, you might want to remember why you got together initially, how the relationship ended and why you broke up.  In that context, you’ll be in a position to evaluate your decision more thoughtfully.  Once you’ve recalled the facts, it is often helpful to ask yourself these two questions:

(1) Has the other person made a substantial change? or

(2) Have I changed my expectations? 

If either of these has changed, then there is a possibility that new patterns can be developed–patterns that will bring you closer together rather than pushing you apart once more. 

If nothing has changed, then you might want to consider why you are deciding to repeat an old pattern.  Are you running for safety in order to avoid the work of true growth?  It is very important to be honest with yourself during the decision making, especially if the prior relationship was unhealthy.

Sometimes, it is also helpful to turn to professional help.  Individual therapy can help you to understand yourself more fully as you make your decision and learn to move forward.

Pam Garcy, PhD

Learn to experience abundance in all life areas–even though everyone is telling you that now is not the time.  Check out http://www.myinsourcing.com/PamGarcyWorkshop.htm